Male bodybuilder confess he feels like a woman

Femalebuilding. -I never cared about how I looked or what I ate before I started this sport. Now I spend more time infront of the mirror than all my 12 sisters combined, say pro bodybuilder Carl August.

-I do stuff now I never think would do. Like spending time taning to get the right skin tone. I even do my nails. I feel like such a lady. I`ve been doing this for years now and no threes has been cut down, no bullets being fired, no car chases or anything remotely masculine besides posing, which is kinda gay when you think of it.

-I hit me after my last competition. I do this to impress other men. It is such a ladies thing. Which is why half the guys here are gay. It`s the only other place they can be left alone besides gay bars and coffee shops.

-When people ask me what I`m doing I can`t really say I do much besides taking off my clothes to please others which makes me sound like such a bitch. I even wear a tanga!

-I got man boobs. I`ve developed curves and feminine attributes. I get the same attention as a beautiful lady. My dick looks smaller. I lie in bed all day. I worry about getting too fat. I pose on stages and my goal is to win a beauty pageant. This sport really screwed up my manhood and turned me into a such a pussy. I look great, sure, but thats it?! I can`t even fire a gun!!!

Photo Steve Tolcher

French workers outsource management

Made in French China. -The owners are too expensive to run. Therefore we move the leardership to China where they do just as bad work for a fraction of the bonus, says French lingerie seamstress/model Jacqui Love.

Photo zio Hack

Pimp my dissability

Tofu guy to himself: "Why did I quit school?
Why? Why? Why?"

Lowrider. -I got wheels of steel and a tofu bodyguard to king me around. My lower body is born to do this. I`m a natural king. I got royal genes. I am the incarnation of MTV - left behind and desperately in need of attention.

-See you suckers! I don`t want to spend any attention on you.

Photo denise said whaaat

Israeli kids ridicule their heritage with laughter gas

-A jew walks into a hospital and the doctor ask "whats wrong?".

He says "wrong, I`m jewish, everything is wrong. This is

antisemitism". I love that joke. 

Roadmap for party. -We want a fresh start. We have had enough of these victim tales. Our ancestors are killing us. There is no conflict. It does not apply to us. It`s all been shown down or throats, says Lucy Jew.

-Want some gas? We got cyanide beer, ash juice, genocide tonix... help youself. It`s an open bar.

Photo melthork

State of Health Address

O-factor. Here is an extract of the President`s speech to the aging American economy:

-225 years is no age for a country. Nations has lasted longer than this.

-Look at Ethiopia and the 2800 years worth of mess their in. It`s the oldest country in the world and their still creating problems together.

-We will get through these dark times. We have until the sun stop shining, said Obama.

Photo White House

Pro home entertainment

The Smartsons seperateroom.

Surround screen. The Smartsons family took home entertainment to a new level went they went pro.

-Yeah, we where so sick and tired of each other we needed something that could separate us when we where together in the living room. I mean, we had to if we where to keep living together, says Wayne.

-I have to admit I can`t remember my sisters name. I keep mistake her for Marcia in the Brandy Bunch.

-Sometimes I even adress the tv instead of her. They both ignore me so it`s hard to tell who`s who. When I get that look from the tv that in no way resonate with what I say. Like I`m not even there. Thats when I realize I`m speaking to the flatscreen.

-But who can blame me with voice recognition and all?! I speak more to the technical appliances than humans! At least the tv recognizes me.

Photo mettamatt

Obama up for 20 Grammy nominations!

President of soul

SoulOnova. -When you saw how easy he got the Nobel Prize, which is the most prestigous award in the world, I think it`s a safe bet to say Obama wins everything. Even the categories he`s not nominated in. Like best female newcomer. He`ll win that too, say a Los Angeles Times reader.

Photo BeckyF